Feeling the fragility of life is sometimes so crippling to me.
I know that life can be taken at any moment.
I know I should embrace each moment and live it to the fullest but, sometimes I just tremble in fear. Fear that within a second someone I love could be gone. Just like that. Gone.
I do go on. We all do.
Going on and moving forward.
What choice do we really have?
Somedays it is harder than others.
It's been harder lately.
I tell myself that each experience has its purpose.
It works for me more often then not.
I just wish it made it easier.
The beauty of life lies in the small, insignificant, life moments.
Pure magic is what they are.
We just have to have the eyes to see and the heart to feel them.
These are moments that we will never experience again.
I take some of these moments for granted because I do them so many times in a day.
They often feel like chores.
Oh, but they are not. I need to remember that.
They are fleeting. I just want to hold onto them forever.
I don't want to forget what it feels like...
to be able to cup my child's tiny hands in mine while I help them wash up for dinner
to hear the word 'mommy', my most favorite thing I'm called
to find crayon works of art all over the van door or the many other places in the house
to wipe yet another runny nose
to hear the giggles that follow after someone has passed gas at the dinner table (yep, it's super funny at our house)
to breastfeed a new life no matter how painful it is at the time
to feel so tenderly about my son that when I try telling his Kindergarten class about him I start crying after 3 words and have to let my husband finish for me
to watch my middle three sit excitedly looking out the window just to watch the garbage man drive by on Fridays
to have a full dishwasher and sink...because it means we have enough food
to have my cat waiting by the front window to welcome me home
to look at my husband across the room and smile because both of our laps are full
to brush my babies delicate hair behind her ears
to have the amazing power of healing that only a mother has...to heal boo-boo's with a single kiss
to hear the contagious and body shaking laughter of my 5 year old
to listen to my baby girl sucking on her thumb, knowing she's content
the enormous piles of laundry...because it means we have played and worked hard
to hear the sound of my mothers voice on the other end of the phone because she is always there for me
to find yet another, wanted and cherished love note left by my teenager
to be smothered with slobbery kisses because I am mommy and I am loved
So many mundane, normal, ordinary moments.
With the right perspective...
Magic is always there.
I hope that we can all remember to find the beauty and the magic in every 'normal day'.
Please visit the next blog in the Sisterhood Stories Circle, my friend, Jane.